You are not alone in your struggles or feelings. I am right there with you. Motherhood is tough. Raising multiple children with varying personalities is tough. Homeschooling children who don’t want to learn or who fight you to do their work is tough. Struggling to be a good mother while not forgetting your hubby can be challenging. Having older independent children, a preschooler, and a nursling all at the same time can be exhausting.
Rest assured mom, you are not alone!
Maybe you have a child or children with medical needs. Maybe you have children with dietary concerns. Maybe you feel twisted, pulled, and stretched as thin as you can be.
Reach out to someone you trust. Reach out to a loving mommy friend of older children. Reach out to another mom that homeschool’s or whose child also has special concerns or medical needs.
Please remember that YOU cannot do it all. Full bellies are more important than clean dishes. Snuggling up with a little OR big kid is more important than vacuuming. Reading or dreaming with your child is more important than folding the laundry.
Being present is ever so important. Trust me I know and my heart twinges when my 10 yr. old says, “Mommy, I miss you.” And I realize I have not gone anywhere for weeks but have not spent time with each child either.
This is my greatest struggle-time! Finding time to do it all. You can’t! Don’t even try. I am warning you. You will be miserable. You children will be miserable. Your spouse will feel stressed and miserable. Your marriage will become strained and miserable.
How can you not get trapped into “doing it all”?
1. Delegate a chore to each capable child to ease your stress. Don’t expect perfection but honest effort.
2. Delete a time sucker! Yes, quit watching ONE television show or turn off Facebook for one hour a day. Heck, turn your phone to silent during the hours of 10 pm to 7 am like I do. Your emails, tweets, texts, and notifications can wait! I promise.
3. Say no to any new commitments. Don’t whine about not having time for children, marriage or self but sign up for something new. Really think about saying YES to a volunteer opportunity even if it’s a really worthy cause. What is more worthy than your family time?
4. Find an activity that the entire family enjoys. This will be tough but can be done. Engaging all family members will build a stronger family bond. Maybe it’s singing karaoke or making up skits or maybe building cardboard forts or new LEGO creations but whatever it is try to engage ALL family members no matter how little.
5. Schedule time for Date Nights whether out or in. So be it if you have a toddler. Get a movie for big kids and let them build a snuggle fort to watch their movie. Then spend time with your spouse. Plan a vacation or garden plans. Talk about dreams and goals for family or marriage. Explain struggles. Agree to support each other no matter what!
6. Pray for your family, your spouse and those families around you. Most are struggling just like you but you don’t know it. Most people won’t be airing their dirty laundry on Facebook but could be sitting at home in anguish.
7. Ask for others to pray with and for you, for families and for Christian marriages that are struggling. Pray for those whom you think really have it together because they may not.
I struggle with being around my kids so much i no longer want to even be a mom sometime
I know how you feel. Until recently I didn’t go anywhere without them unless is was a medical appointment for my hubby or myself. Now I get to attend a weekly mom’s night out for local homeschool mom’s and it is such a great 3 hours! Maybe you can organize an hour without kids by swapping childcare with another mom or call in grandparents?
I think every once in a while everyone struggles with these thoughts. These are great tips on how to deal with these feelings in a constructive way.
Christina @There's Just One Mommy says
This post came at the perfect time.
It has been one of those weeks. Struggling to meet everyone’s needs and find time to breathe.
Thank you for the reminder that we can not do it all all the time. Something has to give. Sometimes we need help.
It has been a long week here of my SPD kiddo not sleeping and so I am running on little sleep, too, staying up at night trying to get work done. I’m going to take your advice, the writing is going to have to take a back seat until we get this sleep thing sorted out. And tomorrow I need to play dolls with my little girl before she quits asking me to.
Oh, yes breathing is important. Way too many days I feel like I am drowning in too much to do, too much I cannot control, hoping things will change or be better tomorrow. Sometimes feeling bad about the choices I have made with my time…
Patty Moliterno says
Thanks for this article. Even older mommies need reminders. I need to ask for help, and I need to offer help to younger mommies.
A fantastic and mindful post, thanks for sharing because we all struggle at one time or another and it is important to know that we are not alone #justanotherlinky
Thanks for sharing at Funtastic Friday!
becca farrelly says
So true! I spent a lot of time when Mia was first born worrying about not being able to do things so ‘perfectly’ or ‘easily’ as before we had her and I soon realised that it doesn’t matter if the dishes don’t get done straight away or the ironing isn’t finished by the end of the day, it matters to be there and healthy and enjoying your child! 🙂
Oh wonderful advice – I think we as mums try to be perfect and it is just not possible. The reaching out is so important and so often not done enough – and should apply both ways – look out for other mums too. A coffee with a friend is the best therapy some days. Great post #justanotherlinky x
Beautiful show of solidarity to other mothers <3 I struggle ALL the time and taking time for yourself and reaching out to a kind friend is so important. Thanks for sharing #justanotherlinky
I completely identify with this post! It is so hard to not feel overwhelmed and isolated at times, but very comforting to know you aren’t the only one that feels like that sometimes! #justanotherlinky
Such an encouraging post and so many helpful reminders! Thanks for linking up with us at #FridayFrivolity and I hope you join us again this week!
Lori Schumaker says
This is such an important topic! “Mom” is the toughest job out there! Not only do we struggle feeling lost and forgotten … we then struggle with guilt for not loving every minute of it or for desiring alone time! I am praying your post will bless many lonely hearts today!
Blessings and smiles,
Jennifer Dodrill @ All-In-One-Mom says
Such a great reminder, even to an “older” mom like me. My youngest is 13, but I still feel pulled in so many different directions. Maybe as many as when they were younger, but differently now. Your tips are SPOT ON! We have to ask for help! Thank you!
Something Crunchy Mummy says
Great tips and I can identify with this post as I find myself doing it all. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
What Wonderful words of encouragement. Thank you for sharing with #TheCozyReadingSpot
Life as Mum says
A great post. Motherhood sure is hard! Thank you for linking up with #justanotherlinky
I have been having such a hard time parenting lately and I really needed to read this! Thank you so much for sharing this at the #SmallVictoriesSundayLinkup!
So glad the post came at a time that you needed some encouragement!
It sure is! Everyday brings new challenged no matter how old your children are or how long you have been a mom!
I just wish more mom’s realize that everyone has bad days and struggles to deal with and learn from.
Too funny my oldest just turned 13! Still have a lot of years left mothering him and his younger siblings:)
You are so right! Being a mom is tough!
Yes. I hope this post reaches all the mom’s that need to hear this message and all the mom’s who can reach out and encourage other mom’s around them.
Thanks for this beautiful and encouraging post! It has been featured at Idea Box Party this week.
Hope you’re well!
Cristina Mandeville says
Insightful and beautiful post! I would love to invite you over at Blogger Spotlight Link and Pin-it Party! It runs every Thursdays, 7pm PST until Tuesdays, 7pm. Hope to see you there!
Great post! It is easy to just try and do everything at first, but it gets out of hand very quickly. Making sure you are taking care of yourself continuously is extremely important for any mom. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for linking up at the #BloggersSpotlight party! I pinned this to our group board. Don’t forget to come link up again tonight and see the featured posts!
You are right, you cannot do it all alone. I would have to choose between making dinner or spending some time with my kids, so I ordered takeout!! Being a mom is HARD! Thanks for the tips.
My goal is to crockpot twice a week plus hubby cook’s a few times a week to help keep meals a little more manageable.
Kayla Reinert says
This is wonderful. Great tips and encouragement. It can be hard being a mom sometimes and it’s nice to be reminded to take it easy. I also think adding prayer is very important! 🙂